And scrolls, cutting patches from my clothes,

Getting blown to pieces in the street. Do you have fishing line, ma'am? Pete said. She covered her mouth to hide a laugh. You see a lot of fish around here? Should I google go check the methane-lakes? Any thread will do, he said stiffly. And of course a needle. She went to rattle around in her bedroom, returning a moment later. Pete tweaked the needle through my skin with the rough competence of a man who'd sewn his own wounds. Eight sches later, he was done and so was I. Pain, bloodloss, and general exhaustion had saddled me with a headache and a nonfunctional brain. I knew we needed to plan our next move, but I needed rest more. Hermalina stripped a couple blankets from her bed--she didn't have spares--arranged the floor pillows into imobiliare bucuresti mattresses for me and Pete, spoke off the lights, and closed her bedroom door. Fay? I subvocalized after a sleepless hour. You awake? I am now, you . Oh. Sorry. I'm trying to joke. Why is that so hard for me? Fay said with real frustration. What can I do for you? What if we rebel? I said. What do you see when you look down past the ocean shelf? People will die. How many? I don't know. Am I one of them? I can only see the pattern of a cloud, not the water molecules that make it up, Fay said slowly, as if translating from an alien language. Common sense says if you lead the charge, don't be surprised to find yourself on the wrong end of a spear. I nodded in the darkness. I see. Are you prepared to face that? No. But I think I have to. Even though it could be suicide. Fay dropped its voice to a tone you normally heard spoken over convalescing patients. Have you thought about it before? Killing yourself? A few hundred thousand times. Seriously? Only twice with any intent, I admitted. Once about a woman, and once when I understood what I was. Because you learned life had no imobiliare bucuresti meaning and you'd just go on and on forever until the cruelty of the universe turned you into a hideous monster? Something like that. Fay hesitated. What stopped you? After a while, I forgot to keep feeling crummy. I think forgetting is an evolutionary trait that showed up after everyone with a perfect memory killed themselves from remorse. That's an awful theory, Fay said. Do you know how many resources it would take to fuel a perfect memory? I scowled at the ceiling. You're missing the point. Your emotions adapt to the present, however grand or terrible it is. Killing yourself, it's... A permanent solution to a temporary problem? Only idiots who've never been in real pain say that. You were about to say it! First off, shut up. Second, not all problems are temporary. What if that blast had blown out the whole left lobe of my brain? I can't get a new one. If I take a sustained look at my life and conclude it's not worth continuing, that's not an emotional decision, it's a thoughtful one. Who would you be to criticize? Someone smarter than you? Fay suggested with a hint bucuresti of smugness. So what stopped you? Did you get everything you want? Yeah, I laughed. That's why I'm hiding out in a stranger's apartment trying to decide whether to abandon the colonists to a lifetime of misery, or to get murdered trying to fix a problem centuries in the making. imobiliare bucuresti Wow. It sounds like you should kill yourself. Well, doesn't everything look